It's Time!

Surgery day is here!

This entire process from start to finish has been very time consuming, emotionally draining, exciting, fantastic, expensive and EVERYTHING else in between! I've spent a lot of time working towards this day and I'm very excited for what is to come.

I wish I could predict the future and I wish I knew exactly what was in store for me as life goes on after tomorrow. I'm eager to see where my life is in a year from now and what I'll look like....I'd be lying if I said I didn't hope for a MAJOR change. I'm looking forward to it and I'm totally up for the challenge!

The doctors office called me this evening to change the time of the procedure but otherwise all is still well and I'm ready to go! My bags are packed and all I have left to do is to take some "before" pictures when Jason gets home from work tonight. Otherwise, all that I have to do is show up at the hospital tomorrow!

I'll have my phone with me and be sure to get online to update everyone as I can. If you want an update feel free to get in touch with Jason, my Mom or Dana since all of them will be there on Thursday. (If you need their numbers, email me tonight!!)

As far as I know, I'll be in the hospital until Saturday sometime. They said I *might* get lucky and get to come home on Friday but more than likely I'll be there till Saturday.

If anyone wants the hospital information:
Rex Hospital
4420 Lake Boone Trail
Raleigh, NC 27607
919-784-3100

One thing I want to mention is that I am feeling very much loved right now. I've gotten a ton of phone calls, text messages, and Facebook posts wishing me luck and offering prayers. It means so much to me to know that all of my friends and family are behind me 100%! Thank you all SO much!!!

Here's to new beginnings!! :)

Pre-op!

Friday I had my pre-op appointment at Rex.

I met with someone in registration and got all of my paperwork filled out instead of having to do it on Thursday morning. I was not expecting to take care of all of it when I went but I'm glad that it's done and I don't have to deal with it.

Once I took care of all that I met with a nurse who went over my medical history and asked me what felt like a million questions. I was able to ask her questions and she went over the process of what was going to happen on Thursday when I went in. I had some labs drawn up and then I got to meet the anesthesiologist.

She was wonderful! She went over my medical history again and answered all of my questions. We talked a little bit about the fear and anxiety that I'm having and she really made me feel better about the whole process. She assured me that they know what they are doing (not that I ever doubted their abilities) and that they are the "best drug dealers around". (Her words! lol)

I left Rex with a lot more peace than I had when I walked in. I am still very anxious about it and a little frightened by the unknown but I have faith that I will be just fine!! :)

I will be admited for at least one night but more than likely it'll be two nights that I'm there. Saturday I'll be discharged home and will be taking it easy. Jason is off on Thursday and Saturday and will be around to help with anything that I need and I think my Sister Ariel will be around as well on Saturday so I should be good to go!

Now I just have to make it through the next two and a half days!!! C'mon time, hurry up!!!

The Countdown is ON!

Surgery is in 7 days!!

I can't even believe it's already here!

This has been a pretty long process to get to this point and it's so nice to have it all coming to an end! I feel like the hard part is almost over and the fun, exciting part is about to start!

As of Tuesday I've been on my pre-op liver shrinking diet. Let me explain to you a little bit about this diet. Typically people who are overweight are going to have an enlarged or "fatty" liver. The liver can get in the way when the doctors go in to do their thing. So, it's my job to shrink it before the surgery. I'm drinking 2-3 protein shakes a day to replace my meals and eating only foods high in protein and low in carbs/fat/calories.

The protein shakes are really pretty good! The only issue that I have with them is that they will fill me up for an hour or so and then I'm hungry again. We have three different flavors, orange cream, chocolate mint ice cream, and french vanilla. My favorite is the chocolate mint and Jason is quite partial to the orange (Did I mention how awesome my bf is for doing this with me!?).

This is what I take to work with me

By the time the end of the day approached on Tuesday I was feeling really dizzy, nauseous, and my head was killing me so I decided that the next day I was going to at least eat something during the day because the shakes alone were not gonna cut it. I was told by my doctor that I could have small portions of chicken and veggies for dinner while on this diet. So the second day I took a little tiny piece of chicken and some veggies to eat for lunch and it worked wonders. I wasn't feeling bad so clearly that little bit of food helped me out and I didn't feel guilty like I was eating something "bad".

 

This was my saving grace!

All ready to go!

I also bought a new scale yesterday! We had one that Jason brought with him when we moved in together. It was old, dirty and off by 4-5lbs with no way to adjust it. I had never bought a scale before so I had no clue what to expect to spend...much to my surprise I was able to get one for right around $30. It's quite fancy-it will save the last 12 weigh ins for up to 4 people which is awesome!....It's the simple things in life....

(Check out the new floor, but ignore the lack of trim, we're workin on it!)

Last week I got the approval for FMLA from my HR department. So thankfully I have 12 weeks of job security if for some reason I have any complications and have to be out of work. Right now I've scheduled myself out of work for a little over two weeks but I'm hoping that I'll be able to go back after a week and a half but we'll see. Having the FMLA approval helps ease my mind a bit that I can take the time off that I need to get healed and still have a job to go back to!

Tomorrow is my pre-op appointment with the anesthesiologist at Rex and I should get the final details of everything that'll take place next week when I go in. This is really my official LAST appointment before surgery! FINALLY! (haha)

6 more days!!!

Something to Share

I've been thinking about posting this post for some time now and it's taken me a long time to get all of my thoughts together so, bear with me a little bit. :)

I want to share some things with the world about being over-weight/fat/fluffy/obese/thick, etc...

There are so many misconceptions that people have about those of us who are over-weight...."surely you're just lazy",  "of course you don't take care of yourself", "fat people smell bad", "you must have emotional problems and you eat to make yourself feel better", and my most recent favorite..."You're having weight loss surgery to take the easy way out".....Who comes up with this stuff??  Well, if you're overweight I'm sure at some point someone has said one of these things to you.

My entire life I've had these things said to me or about me when people thought I couldn't hear them. I remember my Dad telling me at 12 years old that I'd be so pretty if I lost weight. I'd spend the summers at the neighborhood pool as a child and there were kids there that would call me "butter ball", I remember in gym class being picked last for kick ball because I was overweight...kids were very cruel....

I've always felt like my weight defined who I was because from an early age I was very aware of it. The people around me made me aware that I was different. As I got older the criticism didn't stop. It wasn't the same as being called "butter ball" or "fatty" from other children....it came in the form of rejection from classmates in middle school...people not wanting to be my friend because I was big, guys not paying me any attention in high school and only being my friend to get closer to my prettier/skinny friends, my parents commenting each school year on how big my clothes had gotten. It has been a constant struggle throughout the years just to fit in...just to feel "normal".

As an adult I still struggle with it. There have been times where "friends" have said negative things to me, there have been men who thought they could treat me badly because I was a bigger girl and they thought that I'd just deal with it (obviously mistaken), I go out in public and it's almost as if people are looking through me and not at me....hard to explain that one but unless you've been there you may not quite understand.

I'm not sure what my purpose is with writing this post but I really felt like this is something I needed to get off my chest. People are so quick to judge someone because of how they look but don't take the time to think about how their actions and comments are going to effect that person in the long term. Society forms us all to believe that beautiful is a size 0 but really beauty is only skin deep! I am not perfect and I have many flaws but I am still a person and I have feelings. So, I ask that before you say something mean or negative about how another person looks that you think of me....after all, every one of you that is reading this is either a member of my family or my friend and how would you feel if it were being said about me?

I'm looking forward to surgery and loosing all of this extra weight and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't eager to finally feel like I fit in. I need to get my "pretty" back...I need to get back to where I feel like I belong.

March 1st, 2012

....is my date for surgery!! :)

I have to be at REX at 9:45 and surgery time is 11:45.

I'm so excited and I cannot wait!!!